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* I arrived at Subic Bay Naval Station in early September 1958 as an ambitious and horny 19 year old Marine PFC, after a slow (almost four week) trip on the USNS David C. Shanks, one of the scroungiest scum buckets afloat. The first three days at my new duty station were spent in indoctrination, and with the rest of the newcomers, I was restricted to base while we taught all about our future duties as base security forces and what problems we faced if we violated any of the local laws. This was extremely important as the Philippines were basically under the old Spanish codes and punishment could be severe for even minor infractions. We were not under restriction as punishment, and we did spend considerable time during the evening getting acquainted with San Miguel beer at the base EM Club. Allow me to describe the metropolis of Olongapo to you. The town consisted of one main street about two miles long, and was confined between two mountainous ridges that kept it from spreading more. ‘Yeah, that’s fine with me. I think I need to call the MINI people though.’ Pam took out her cell: still no signal. ‘Not gonna work here in Pashaw County. No coverage. We aren’t important enough for that sort of thing.’ ‘Figures’ Pam muttered to herself. So Fucking Nowhere has a name: Pashaw County. Ted continued ‘I’ve got a regular phone at the shop. ‘course ya gotta crank it just right to get it going and can only make calls afternoons when Thelma is working the switchboard down to the trading post.’ Pam looked at him incredulous. Ted started laughing. ‘Not really. We aren’t quite that stuck in the past.’ Pam blushed realizing her comment hadn’t been as private as she had thought. ‘I’m really sorry, I…’ Still smiling his easy smile, Ted said ‘Don’t worry about it. Sometimes I feel the same way. But to be honest, in the end I know this is where I want to be.’ After some thought he continued, ‘Hell, now-a-days we’ve even got ourselves commodes right in the house!’ This time, Pam.
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